I am a night owl, much to the detriment of my health. I think if I went to bed earlier, didn’t stay up late working or using my computer, and just tried to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, I would be much happier. But alas! – I do not, do and don’t, so I’m not. Instead, I trudge along in my day-to-day life, being forced out of my circadian rhythm by my alarm, jump-starting my body awake with a cup of coffee, confusing it immensely by lying on my bed scrolling Instagram reels, and then becoming irritable and grumpy.

  Not that it affects me that much. I am exaggerating for the purposes of having something to write about (and I have been a touch more tired over the last couple of days. I’ve started playing Lord of the Rings Online again…). But still. It’s noticeable.

  Something that has been a scary realisation is how much happier I genuinely am after having a cup of coffee. I work in customer service and the difference between caffeinated Leo and non-caffeinated Leo is a high tolerance to customer stupidity. And something about presenting feminine at my T2 job with a cup of coffee is really gender-euphoric for some reason.

  I never had naps as a kid. Ever since I was four and the day care I went to had nap-time, I never understood it. I was always wired and wide awake. No, I don’t have ADHD (though I have considered it) and I wasn’t high on cocaine when I was a toddler (though I did consider it). I always thought it was weird that both my older brothers used to take naps. And then I hit the age where they started taking naps…and suddenly I wanted to take naps.

  Going to work when your shift starts at nine o’clock and you stayed up until twelve-thirty and your alarm deafens you when it turns on and you have to get up into the freezing cold to turn your alarm off because you know if you have your alarm right next to your bed then you won’t get up and will just snooze it and go back to sleep and feeling bad because you know your family will hear your alarm and hoping it hasn’t woken them up is not my idea of happy time. Because sleepytime is happy time. I want sleepy time.

…

Goodnight.