I am here to argue that the so-called “gloomy” weather, the “miserable” weather, the weather that everyone(?? apparently??) hates, is actually quite pleasant, and you should all just suck it up and stop complaining.

  Without the “miserable” weather there would be no need for hot chocolates. No-one wants a hot chocolate on a warm day unless they’re depressed (which there is nothing wrong with) or a sugar addict (which there is a little wrong with). Most people will not feel compelled to have a hot chocolate or cup of tea on a sunny day and therefore will not have one. But what kind of an awful world is that where you don’t want hot chocolates?? Nothing beats the comfort of having a nice mug of hot chocolate to wrap your hands around.

  Which makes me think of the insane people who don’t wrap their hands around mugs while drinking heated beverages out of them. Why wouldn’t you? What’s inhibiting the primal instinct that humanity has to keep warm? You can’t tell me you like having cold hands – how the hell would gay relationships start if someone couldn’t say “My hands are cold,” and their potential partner couldn’t look them in the eyes and say “Can I hold them for you?” Because no-one – wait a second. Hold on. Does this refute my point?

  Okay, wait!! I’ve got it. If people liked having cold hands, then it would give no excuse for someone else to hold their hands to warm them up, because in that world what kind of psychopath would take away the pleasure of having cold hands?? So that proves my point, because we, as humans, don’t like having cold hands as shown by the above example, and so why wouldn’t you drink a mug of hot chocolate in the way that warms up your hands the most??

  Or is it just that we, as social creatures, generally crave intimacy and so try to replicate that with the feeling of wrapping our hands around a warm mug? Are the people who I just accused as being insane actually normal people who aren’t touch starved? Oh, dear. I think I need to lie down.