I think the same is essentially true when you are practising a performance. I have had two experiences today rehearsing for upcoming performances – one in one month and the other in one week – and in both of them I was working less than adequately. The performance that I have this week is probably my “highest status” performance that I’ve been invited to perform at. I’m performing some classical opera pieces that are very well known for a crowd of people who can afford $150 tickets and to spend extra money on artworks at an auction during the event. I’m accompanying the singers, and during the rehearsal we had today, I kept making mistakes and felt very guilty because it “wasn’t as good as when I was practising.”

  I was getting the easy bits just fine, but the more difficult parts were really taking a toll on my focus and hand agility. But this made no sense to me, because I was playing them perfectly fine the day before.

  One of the reasons this was an issue was because this was our first rehearsal together for these pieces. Another reason was that I had been practising the pieces much slower than I had realised they should be. I had very easily disproven Ben Lee’s “adage” of “If you can play it slowly, you can play it quickly.” Not that that statement needed any more disproving than it has already received. But when you say Quatsch like that in an attempt to sound smart in front of thousands of people, then you shall be heavily judged.

  The other thing was an acting scene where my character has to break down crying at the end. It’s a safe enough scene and environment that I can actually cry in it (and it probably takes away from the effect of it if I don’t) but today I just wasn’t getting there. I thought I had done everything exactly the same as I did last week, and yet I had a different outcome.

  There’s probably some zinger about insanity here, but I can’t find it. Oh well. Just another of those days.