When I was growing up (we’re thinking ages four to eight here) I was allowed to pour my own cereal. I would have three bowls of cereal, which is a fact that completely astonishes me to this day. The first would be Nutri-Grain, the second would be Rice Bubbles, and I’d have a bowl of porridge third, always in that order. I don’t remember much about why I would do this or how I would eat it all. If I recall correctly, they were pretty large bowls of cereal. I still eat rather large portions when it comes to cereal. When one of my older brothers was still living in the same house as me, he would comment that my porridge looked like it was filled to the brim…and it was, usually.

  I’ve never eaten very much. I know I’ve disappointed extended family members by not finishing the food they’ve prepared for me at Christmas and Easter times. But the truth is, I genuinely don’t eat very much. I find the feeling of being “full” quite uncomfortable.

  I’ve always been told I should eat more. I’m reasonably tall and very skinny. I’m definitely underweight, and I’ve tried to eat more meat and more healthy foods to put on a bit of weight, but it has never worked. I like to steal a quote from Doctor Who, which is something along the lines of “Careful, if you hug him you’ll get a paper cut.”

  Okay…I have to confess that I got distracted just after finishing that sentence for approximately half and hour and now I can’t remember what I was writing about. I could just shift my eyes up slightly and read it but I honestly can’t be bothered. I remember it was something about food so I am going to talk about my allergies now. I have a food intolerance to apples. I can’t eat them, or else my mouth starts to feel fuzzy and sometimes it swells a little. I’m allergic to shrimp, which doesn’t come up very often. I am also allergic to cats. This is okay, because I have never eaten a cat. I wouldn’t be able to finish it anyway.